Co-Parenting Challenges: A Guide to Happy Holidays

The holiday season can be a challenging time for many parents, particularly those experiencing separation or divorce. Thos parents navigating co-parenting responsibilities, emotions, stress, and potential loneliness may arise, especially for those without established traditions and support systems. This blog explores strategies to help you to prioritise your child's well-being and create positive holiday experiences amid co-parenting dynamics.

1. Prioritise your child/children:

   • Focus on creating new enjoyable memories for your child.

   • Consider alternative plans to support each other, by celebrating on Christmas Eve or hosting a holiday event post-Christmas.

   • Ensure your holiday schedule revolves around your child's needs rather than personal preferences.

2. Be mindful of the needs and emotions of others:

   • Avoid intensifying conflicts by being flexible and understanding.

   • Acknowledge potential worries your child may have about spending time with each parent. Give them the space to express their feelings.

   • Offer empathy and emotional coaching to help them navigate complex emotions during the holiday season.

3. Emotional Coaching:

   • Adopt Dr. John Gottman's Emotion Coaching model:

     • Be aware of your child's emotions.

     • Recognise emotions as opportunities for intimacy and teaching.

     • Listen with empathy and validate their feelings.

     • Help your child label their emotions.

     • Set limits while assisting them in problem-solving or handling upsetting situations appropriately.

4. 5 strategies to support healthy co-parenting:

   • Keep the best interests of your child in mind.

   • Focus on positive communication with your ex-spouse to minimise conflict. Do not speak badly about each other to your children.

   • Avoid putting your child in the middle; don't make them a messenger.

   • Validate your child's feelings, letting them know it's okay to miss the other parent.

   • Start new holiday traditions to create positive memories, balancing old and new activities.

Remember that the goal of co-parenting during the holidays is to create positive, enduring memories for your child. Prioritising their well-being, practicing emotional coaching, and fostering positive communication with your ex-spouse will contribute to a happy holiday season, and positive experiences for your child/children. By modelling respectful behaviour, you establish a foundation for positive memories that will benefit your child in the years to come.

Merry Christmas!

Kaye Dallow